Karen M. Winkelman

The LifeCrafting Guide

Intuitive Consultant for Your Personal,
Professional and Creative Life

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"All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own. "
~ Edwin Markham

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by Karen Winkelman Monday, May 13, 2024

upside down mountains, sky on bottom, water on top, with the words What if we got it all wrong, what if the opposite is true?Truth is one of my top values, along with learning, integrity, and creativity.

It’s no surprise that I question pretty much everything (not just authority).

In the questioning process, which often includes research, I also look at it from different perspectives and use intuition and body wisdom to discern whether something is true or not.

One of my favorite questions to ask myself whenever thoughts disturb my peace of mind is, “Is it true?" "Is this true?”

Aside from being a good question to ask about thoughts, beliefs, conclusions, and so forth, it serves as a most excellent thought pattern interrupter, returning my mind to conscious awareness and the present (aka “the NOW”).

Keep in mind that I’m not talking about TRUTH, as in a Universal Truth that applies to all things.

There are many truths, and some are more person-specific, situational-specific, and culturally-specific than others.

Yes, it is entirely possible for something to be true for you but not true for me because your energy aligns with it as true, and mine doesn’t.

There are also partial truths, truths with lies attached, and lies with truths attached. 

I might delve into these another time.

Just know these insidious constructs will set you up to swallow the entire thing (and all that is attached to it and stems from it), hook, line, and sinker, as Absolute Truth.  

BTW, just because you believe something and everyone you know does as well doesn't make that belief true.

And just because you don’t believe something doesn’t make it untrue.

Which brings me back to the question I stated in the headline:

What if we got it all wrong?

And its companion question: What if the opposite is true?


Here’s what led me to write this post today...

The self-help world (both spiritual and mainstream) appears to be based on the premise of self-improvement through the eradication of whatever is wrong or broken with you.

The assumption is that you are human and, therefore, something must be wrong or broken with you. There is a standard model we must all fit into.

Collectively, we buy into this premise without actual proof and dive in if we want to be healed and whole.

Granted, there are some people who just decide, “Oh well. They are broken, or something is wrong with them,” and either dwell in the misery of their perceived condition...  or shrug and say, “Oh well, it is what it is,” and keep doing whatever they are doing.

In both cases, they can use their “handicap” as an excuse.

A rare few know this "wrong and broken point of view" is flawed and incorrect. It isn’t true. They accept and embrace who they are and live accordingly.

However, if you are anything like I was, you dig and dig and dig some more to find the root hurt, the deep wound, the childhood trauma, the core issue, and the assortment of odd, weird, broken, and dysfunctional bits so you can repair the damage and be “normal.”

Once the damage is repaired, healed, and released, you can breathe a sigh of relief. And be whole and well, and enjoy life more.

You’ll be loved and accepted, too (or so you hope).

Yet, each time you uncover and “heal” something, another issue pops up, whacks you in the head, causes you to stumble, and once again, you feel crappy… and feel crappy about yourself.

What the fuck is it now?” I thought I dealt with my ex, my mother, my rape, my dad, my teacher, my boss, my kid, my divorce, my whatever. And here it is again. Seriously?! Grrr.

As author and teacher Alan Cohen says,

“The more you try to fix, the more you find to fix. Only wholeness heals.”


What if we got it all wrong?

What if we got this self-help, self-improvement, healing brokenness, thing all wrong?

What if the opposite was true?

So, instead of

  • Flogging yourself for your perceived lacks, weaknesses, and not-quite-right bits,
  • Or trying to fix and heal something that happened to you,
  • Or trying to correct something about you that you (and most likely others) judged as wrong, bad, not enough, or too much.

What if you celebrated and augmented all the things that are good, right, and quirky about you?

What if those things are actually essential in making you uniquely you?

“No amount of self-improvement

can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.”

~ Robert Holden


Acceptance is underrated in our world.

You can learn this lesson from observing nature, animals, birds, and even your pets. They generally accept what is going on and move on anyway. They accept themselves as is.

What if all the negative things you believed about yourself as wrong or broken, or fill in the blanks, were not negative at all, simply part of who you are as a unique expression of Spirit?

And what might happen when you accept and embrace them instead of judging and rejecting them?

How may your life and well-being improve?

How may your perceived truths change?


Shifting your focus from what you think is “wrong” with you...

to focusing on what is “right” about you can shift everything.

In a good way! I know for a fact from my personal experience.


“Appreciation and self-love are the most important tools

that you could ever nurture."  

~ Abraham - Hicks

Bottom Line

The more you search for things to fix, the more things you will find to fix because your focus is on fixing yourself or healing internal wounds (and the underlying belief that something is wrong with you) rather than focusing on self-acceptance, peace of mind, and well-being, and seeing all the things that are right with you!

Why not play with seeing, acknowledging, and focusing on your talents and abilities, being healthy and thriving by being you in all your glorious imperfect perfection?

What might be possible for you if you shifted your mindset even 10-20-30% in that direction?

And so I ask you to consider,

  • What if we got it all wrong?
  • What if the opposite is true?
  • What would you do differently?

Think about it.

While you are at it, maybe question your beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, too. Not to fix them, but to be aware of them, where they came from, and if they are really true… for you.


Be you. Do you. And it is perfectly fine to change your mind!

With deep love and appreciation,


PS. Do you have something you'd like to share about beliefs and thoughts and truth?  I'd love to hear it. Share in the comments area below!

Posted by Karen Winkelman on Monday, May 13, 2024 12:00 AM
Categories: Healing, Self-Acceptance, Self-Care, Beliefs, Self-Awareness, Empowerment
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