I see you trying to hold it altogether.

You cling to your positivity, invoke rainbows, unicorns, and glitter.

Obsessively canceling any negative thought you have with an immediate positive affirmation.

Chanting your mantras with your Mala beads, hoping it will bring you peace of mind and eliminate your stress.

Stuffing your pockets with crystals to keep your vibe high and ward of the dreaded denser things in life.

Reciting your affirmations, hoping they’ll be enough to bring you what you want and finally make your life the fairytale you desire.

Skipping from one psychic reader or healer to the next, searching for the magic solution to whatever worries you.

And under it all, you strive to hide your anger, your pain, your fears, your shame, your guilt,

and a motley assortment of other wicked little secrets you lock away from yourself and the world.

You believe (on some level) that you are living in the light and are spiritual, loving and compassionate. (But are you loving and compassionate with yourself?)

You might believe denying the darkness within makes you safe from everything locked up in your shadow vaults.

You might think you are more spiritual or evolved without the shadow.

If so, you are misinformed.

So what does Cleopatra have to do with any of this?

Cleopatra was Queen of the Nile.

She was a powerful ruler in Egypt and even took on Rome back in the day. Quite an accomplishment in a male-dominated world.

Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile is also a pun, a play on words.

When I was younger, I heard a spiritual teacher tell a student that she must be Cleopatra.

The teacher paused,

and the student beamed,

delighted to discover she may have been the famed Cleopatra in another life.

And then the teacher added, “Because clearly you are The Queen of De-Nial.”

(the Nile – Denial – get it ;-) )

The truth in that statement stuck with me.

Yes, we can all go into denial.

It is a form of self-protection and avoiding what is uncomfortable or scary.

I do it too.

Only now I am way more aware of it, thanks to that teacher.

I question myself on a daily basis.

I would much rather know the truth of the matter

than pretend something isn’t going on,

or that everything is really fine and dandy when it clearly isn’t.

When you are in denial, you are denying the existence of something.

You are rejecting it.

Pretending it doesn’t exist.

Pretending it doesn’t matter.

Ultimately you are denying the truth...

about how you feel, your situation, things that happened to you,

and whatever you did or didn’t do.

Oh the lies we tell ourselves on a regular basis to keep us “safe.”

The stories we make up and perpetuate –

about what’s going on and why, what’s wrong with us or whoever we’re having a challenge with, and what it all means –

are just another way we tell ourselves lies.

We even justify our stories,

holding onto them like a life line

when they are really an anchor,

attaching us to whatever went down in the past.

And

we sink

deeper

into denial

and fear.

That path of little (or not so little) lies and stories leads to denying the truth of the situation.

Knowing the truth, or a close approximation of the truth,

is the one thing that has the power to set you free.

BTW, You might find it interesting that the word “lie” is contained in the word “denial.”  Rearrange the letters in “Denial” and you get “And Lie!”

When you are drowning in denial,

you may be able to fool yourself into believing whatever story you wove for yourself.

And you may also feel anxious, stressed out and notice your body developing aches and pains and minor issues, 

which are clues that you are ignoring something…

most likely your true feelings.

So what do you do?

Do you add some more sparkles and unicorn rainbow farts to cheer you up?

If so, you are just putting sweet, creamy icing on shit.

It might look enticing, especially with all those bright colorful sprinkles on it.

But it is shit, just the same.

Things don’t change until you are willing to change.

Just like it’s not a good idea to furnish whatever pit of despair you are in (don’t make it comfy if you plan to get out of it),

it’s not a good idea to wear your rose-colored glasses every-fucking-day (or you won’t see the truth that will liberate you).

How can you be all love and light if you haven’t made peace with the darker or denser aspects of yourself?

If you are judging any part of you as wrong or bad and unworthy of being acknowledged,

usually out of fear and misunderstanding of how things really work,

you are actually denying a part of yourself and judging you as unworthy of the love and light you claim to be.

This creates an internal conflict and a conundrum.

Hmmm, interesting.

Saying love and light is not the same as living love and light.

We are all love and light in our Spirit form:

Light = the energy,

Love = the vibration.

The Universe is composed of Light and Dark.

Both are essential.

Look at the Ying/Yang symbol.

It is a circle (all of creation is one).

Half the circle is white/light, the other is black/dark.

Each half has a small circle in it of the other color.

So the white/light half has a black circle, the black/dark half has a white circle.

It illustrates the teaching that you need the light and the dark, the masculine and the feminine.

Both are important and they work together.

Each one contains the essence of the other.

Know that the light contributes in some way to the dark and the dark contributes to the light.

Balance, acceptance and integration are crucial.

Unconditional Love is loving all things --

the light and the dark and every shade in-between.

You do not conquer darkness by eliminating darkness.

You do not master the light by eliminating darkness either.

You master yourself by being aware of your shadow and whatever is in there that frightens you or that you judge as bad, unholy, ugly, or unacceptable.

Then acknowledge these things (baby steps are fine)...

Heal and integrate them, instead of shunning or hiding them.

Learn to work with all of your being, the dark and the light.  

This is a big part of being whole.

Working with all of you allows you to stand more easily in your power because you have less fear of judgment and being exposed.

You’ve made peace with who you are.

If someone else has an issue with you, it’s their issue not yours.  

Enjoy your sparkles, glitter, and unicorns.

Surround yourself with positive and feel good things.

And step out of the sea of denial.

Be willing to feel your true emotions as they arise.

Shed the stories. Seek the truth.

Be willing and brave to peek into the vault where you hide your darker feelings, issues, beliefs and secrets.

Face them one at a time.

If it scares you to do it alone, ask for help.

You’ll discover they aren’t as scary as you feared and that each hold a special message and gift for you.

You can do this.

Really.

I believe in you. Will you believe in you?

Many blessings to you on your journey. It ain't easy being human!

My love and deep appreciation for you,

If my message resonates with you please like and share. Thanks in advance!

PS. I'd love to hear your thoughts... you can share in the comments area below!